Cleanse

Every year or two, I get rid of a bunch of stuff. I always feel like writing about it because it’s such a reflective topic and there’s so much that goes into the things we own and why we own them. I discover something new every year.

In times past, I’ve noted that getting rid of physical objects is one thing, but getting rid of projects is another. I’ve started challenging myself before buying new books, thinking, “Hey, didn’t you really want a book a few weeks ago that you later changed your mind on and have nearly forgotten about? Do you remember really wanting certain books in the past, getting them, and then realizing that they weren’t very interesting or useful after all? Yeah, you should think about that before you buy this book.” It’s good to see the old habits finally start to die. So I’ve enjoyed a decent stretch of “no extra projects,” which has been really nice. There is still room for improvement.

I did actually get rid of my high school freshman and sophomore year books…last year, I think? Boo-hoo. Most of my friends came into the picture during junior and senior year. You’re “supposed” to keep your year books, but whatever. I left my kindergarten and middle school books with my parents some time ago. If those magically disappeared, I wouldn’t cry over them. Ditto these final two monstrosities collecting dust on my bookshelf.

Right now I actually have my eyes set on my Legos. I have too many of them. Thanks to one friend’s generosity, I inherited a giant collection of Legos last year that brought my collection into the modern era, but my room is disproportionately occupied by the tiny bricks, so I’m having to rethink a few things. For one, I only do a handful of projects, namely 1) People, 2) Mechs, and 3) Houses / buildings. I know some people are great at being creative with a box full of randomness, but I am not. I’m only really creative if I’m operating in content that interests me.

And nostalgia only goes so far. For me, nostalgia is predominantly in my head. When I was in middle school, I was a huge Lego Bionicle fan. But I only have so many Bionicle sets left. The real memories are in the adventurous promotional art Lego very cleverly marketed the series with. The rest was all imagination. Bionicle parts and masks are very awkward to store, and they really serve no purpose. I’d love to get these into the hands of someone who could really appreciate them again.

If I’m going to keep any Lego sets for nostalgia’s sake, they are going to be the mid-90s Town, Ice Planet, Aquazone, and Pirates sets my sister and I used to play with. It was a big deal to me when my sister reached high school and dropped her plastic container of Legos off in my room. The two systems merged, and there was much rejoicing. These were the ‘core’ sets, the sets you never forget, and which store very easily. The stuff of the middle years, even the early Star Wars sets, just don’t pack the same nostalgia. I don’t need these middle-year sets for my projects.

In other realms of thought, that PS3 has been collecting serious dust. It’s hard because Black Ops 2 was a lot of fun but, as I’ve mentioned before, if that game is ever re-released on PS4, or even PS5 in the future, the PS3 is gone. GONE. I personally just don’t like having multiple game systems lying around. I’m still tempted to buy a Switch, so I may eat my words, but I’d really just love to have one console meet all my gaming/TV needs.

Also, I don’t know why it happened like this, but I have three laptops and one desktop computer. WTF? The first laptop was a budget refurb so I could go to hack-a-thons during my three month stay-cation in unemployment land several years ago. But it sucks. Really sucks. So last year I bought a nicer refurb, but I didn’t realize until later that 1366 x 768 is such an awful resolution for using Visual Studio. So finally I have this one, a well-researched refurb of what I used at my last job, and it kicks ass. I’m not opposed to keeping one back-up computer, but the first laptop is the only one with a built-in CD drive for movies. Does that really matter? Does it really? And the desktop is powerful and sleek and I built it myself, but I’m just not somebody who really takes his hardware personally. This laptop runs, it’s fast, and it has an awesome screen. Why the spare tank?

I don’t know. They don’t take up a tremendous amount of space BUT STILL. You can say that about almost everything. But compounding marginal space can add up extremely fast. Must…simplify!

I also have some sleeping bags that need to be reckoned with. I guess it’s nice to have an extra sleeping bag because then a friend can borrow it, but this hasn’t happened in 4 years. They are not backpacking quality, and I really want to do some backpacking, so I’m really going to have to gauge what my priorities should be with those. (The extra snowshoes stay, these do actually see annual usage)

Another important consideration is documentation. I use a fireproof file for my important records, but since most tax and medical records are stored online, I may really want to consider downsizing this megalithic brick. Since services such as Gmail and iCloud give you gobs of free space, you could easily use a program to encrypt these files and store them online. Or don’t encrypt them, and they’ll probably still be fine. It’s worth considering.

And there are plenty of others types of possessions to consider, too.

Why does it matter so much to me?

I don’t like the thought of stuff holding me back. And I often do feel held back by things. Things, and projects, which are often related. I long for a deeper flexibility in my life. For clarity and simplicity. I even long for the things that I wish I were doing more, whether that’s exploring the neighborhood, hiking, or simply enjoying the sunrise/sunset. There are so many other things I want to do with my life. To get up, to go. No stupid, “Aw, gee, can’t do that this weekend, I got stuff to do.” Chores, errands, bullshit. Books to read, even, since I have weird issues with that. And just, over time, seeing how illogical and counterproductive all of these extra things are in my life.

Tools just popped into my mind, how there would be this simple beauty to saying, “Okay, I’ll do this on the car with these tools, but I won’t do that, so I don’t need those tools”. I don’t understand why it’s so popular to “build a tool collection”. I guess some tools are legitimately useful, but why build a collection? I’ve seen way too many garages used as storage for boxes of junk, I bet those tool collections in there never see the light of day! Collections in themselves really serve no purpose except the fun of collecting them. I still need to make some heavy decisions on the tools I keep at my parents’ place. Many have not been used in years.

I can never…quite…scratch it. I always try to explain all of this, try to communicate it, and I fail every time. I guess I don’t have to try, but it means a lot to me. I still love buying things, yes, but I think I’m pretty good at figuring out what does and does not add value to my life. But it’s frickin’ hard sometimes!

Basically, when it comes time to clean, I say pretty much the same things I’ve said before, going back for years. Oh, well. I’ll probably say the same things later, too, but I’d like to actually document my progress a little more.