Several weeks ago, I took a rather large distribution from my now much-reduced retirement savings. In theory, this distribution should get me through the rest of the year, but seeing how much I’ve spent over time got me thinking.
Investing is overrated. Now, don’t get me wrong: setting aside money has made these years of unemployment possible, and thanks to a rising stock market, I’ve been able to eat part of my cake while it was growing, too, which has been a huge blessing. But what I mean to say is, whatever worry I used to have about money seems completely foolish to me today, and it’s hard for me to look at the world of investing and not see a host of people who missed the point.
First of all, hardly anybody puts investing in its proper cultural context. We talk a lot about stocks, bonds, real estate, gold, derivatives, and cryptocurrency, forgetting entirely that these investment vehicles are particular to certain countries and at certain points in history, each carrying various risks and rewards pre-determined by cultural, political, social, and environmental factors. Which is to say: there’s nothing truly robust about these investment vehicles, and they only “work” under a strict set of criteria which most people choose not to address.
When I was a software developer and following the FIRE movement, I managed to accumulate quite a lot of money, stashed away in retirement accounts and cash. I understood some of these factors, and so kept my investing very basic, but moreover, the more money I had, the more I worried about it. This happened in a very sneaky way, because I thought I knew a thing or two about the psychology of wealth and how stupid people can get, but the worry came in the form of letting go. I felt very strongly that I should quite my job and take a year off, and although it took time, I finally came around to it. Then 1 year of unemployment turned into 2, I was very, very concerned about spending too much, and letting go of another years’ worth of money, but I came around to it, as well. When 2 years turned into 3, the same thing happened. Now getting awfully close to 4 years, I can look back and see how silly I was to be afraid of letting go of money at each step of the way. I like to think I’ve handled this fairly well, but it always requires a period of adjustment. I’d like to not run out of all of my money, but I’m not sure what the future looks like.
What changed? What made it possible?
Sometimes, God puts things in your life, or calls you in a certain direction, and it’s very much in your best interest go in that direction. This career shift? This was all set up by the big guy. If I told you just how much money I’ve spent doing this, you might think I’m a fool, but there’s nothing foolish about following God. See, I was worried about preserving what I thought I had built up, but I never got myself into software, so in an almost cliche way, my money is not mine. I was also afraid of what people would think of me, but worrying what people think of you is a waste of time. I have had to remind myself on numerous occasions, even from a fleshly perspective, that not having debt is a tremendous blessing in itself, and should never be discounted, and so the sacrificing of excess money (and its occasional confidant, pride) is maybe a small act in the grand scheme of things.
There is nothing wrong with investing. In fact, there times at which is it essential, despite the limitations of the investment vehicles available to us. The problem is that the investment industry is driven by both greed and fear; by egos who want to revel in the glory of predicting the future, and those who fear the social impact of loss. To a very small degree, I have felt both of these inside of myself; neither one has anything to do with our purpose in this world.
You can have all the money imaginable, but if it isn’t serving some greater purpose, in your life or in the lives of others, it’s dead weight, and tends to calcify in the arteries of those who come into possession of it. Never be ashamed of having money, and never be ashamed of having nice things, but also never let it consume you. So many investment schemes end in ruin, and we’ve seen all around us how the imperative of growth for its own sake ruins both lives and souls. Be careful not to adopt the greed and fear preached at you from personal finance books, from podcasts and influencers, who promise you praise and identity for your “smart decisions”. These are not perspectives that you want to walk in.
I mean…how many people even pray about what their finances should look like? As Christians, why are we so quick to consult everybody else? Again, that’s not at all to say investing is wrong, but what should it look like in your life? It will probably look very different from mine! But are we even seeking what God has to tell us about money, and the goals he has for that money? Telling everybody to buy gold, or real estate, or index funds, or whatever, is completely missing the point, if you don’t know what specifically God has called someone to. Maybe the thought of a low return is a bruise to your ego, and maybe your ego is specifically what God wants you to give up. Who knows!
The world tells us that investing is on you, and it’s your purpose to gain as much as possible, so you can be liked and celebrated, so you can feel smart and educated, so you can “be” secure. Don’t fall for these lies!
[Oddly enough, I rarely write about money these days, so maybe I should change the tagline of this blog, ha! I do occasionally experience the desire to distill this blog into 10 essays summarizing my thoughts and convictions on managing money. Many opinions have changed over the years. It could happen!]