It’s the prevailing norm to want more money at your job. But at what cost?
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still have my eyes on reaching a six-figure salary. In software, this is very achievable with the right dedication and years of experience. Wouldn’t it feel great to reach that milestone? Wouldn’t it make me feel like a successful, accomplished programmer?
The dream lingers. Aside from the feelz of reaching such a sum of income, it’s also a carrot on a stick, in many ways. After all, the more money I earn, the faster I can reach my goals and Financial Independence. I’ve always been impressed by people who hustled and paid off huge sums of money, even whole houses by ridiculous ages. The young FI couples I read about are impressive, too. But when it comes time to working extra…I don’t know, I just don’t care.
Currently, I’m hourly through work. And that’s somewhat rare in software. I think back on my time and wonder if I shouldn’t have worked some Saturdays to rake in the extra dough, but at the end of every Friday, my brain has wanted to do nothing but tune work out until Monday morning.
I’ll probably never be one of those hustlers. Also, that statement is about as tongue-in-cheek as I can get. Truth is, I love my free time. I love learning various things, hiking, time with friends. And the thought of spending more of that time working…sucks. So in some ways I won a small genetics/aptitudes/education lottery at God’s bidding that put me in a place of not needing to work particularly hard but still earning darn good money. Although increase has been a huge theme in my life, I still feel there is even greater financial blessing for others: the entrepreneurs, the careerists, some who are born into money. I’m not trying to put God in a box when I say this (at least I hope not), but I can honestly say that I don’t think the purpose of all of this was some specific and ridiculously large quantity of money. Perhaps more a mindset, and the willingness to raise the subject, hopefully get people thinking.
Success often comes at a price, and I have to wonder what that price truly is. The older I get, the more I realize just how less intelligent I am than I used to believe. The less productive, innovative, or original. At my current job, I am the least experienced developer. That’s not in any way to put myself down, it’s just to say, “So what really is your goal here?”
Partly, the answer is time. Time to wander, to dream, to explore. I’ve had to confront the demons of achievement, though still a few desires linger on. What could I achieve? What could I be capable of?
I had a Star Wars-themed dream a few nights ago. As part of the dream, I learned that Obi-Wan (from Episode 2) was paid 106,000 krona/credits/dollars. I thought this was pretty low for a Jedi Master! But there was this sense that that’s just how it is and it’s fine with him. I was also fascinated because that is about how much, in dollars, appears in my Vanguard account. What I had forgotten was the krona part. 106,000 Swedish krona is about $10,000. Which is the salary difference being offered to me above the salary at my previous job. I’ll be honest, I was hoping for a little more, considering my company will no longer also be paying overhead to the recruiters. But it’s still a huge blessing. I think the message from that dream was really that it isn’t about the money, it’s about the mission. Some people simply don’t like the subject of money, and I’m not trying to concede to that spirit of anti-wealth, but what really is the money outside of the Mission?
I think sometimes I just get caught up in really attacking this thing, making it happen as fast as I can. But there can be a slowness to the Spirit, a time of incubation and trust. Going from my first software job to my second carried an almost 30% salary increase. That was pretty addicting! Even saving over half of it, you get that rush from watching it grow. You start taking it for granted. And I don’t believe it’s God’s will to smite us, full-blight just because we sometimes wander off. It’s more of an invitation to rest.
I don’t know what any of this means yet. I may try to barter for some more PTO just because of my travel plans and a serious preference for time over money :). But I have a few things to reflect upon first.