We have an astronomical number of choices in life, but most of these choices are restricted by culture. Some of these restrictions are good, but many of them are bad. Culture gives us defaults for our expectations, hopes, dreams, and desires, but some of these can lead to great pain and suffering.
I’m up for challenging many of these assumptions. Poking and prodding these is a fun pass-time for me, especially regarding money. I’m not at all surprised people sometimes find this offense.
Let’s talk about stable systems and fragile systems.
Fragile Systems
- Restrict options
- Require external conditions for execution
- Multiply dependencies
- Often require large sums of money
Stable Systems
- Increase options
- Require internal conditions for execution
- Decrease dependencies
- Usually require smaller sums of money
An example of a Fragile System is a strong preference. You need a red car, and you need it to be a Mercedes C-Class. There are dozens, if not hundreds of alternatives to this, but your preference restricts you to one very specific make, one very specific model, and one very specific color. So if there are massive sales or good deals on other cars, you will overlook all of them because you only care about this particular type.
Being particular costs money.
Another example of a Fragile System is a high dependency. If you absolutely need to drive to work and you live a great distance from work, you are dependent on your car. You will either need to pay lots of money for a new car, or you will need money and time for an older car, which is more likely to spend time in the shop. The miles you put on your car will also contribute to it’s decay. You will also need to pay for the gas or electricity to power the car, and you will need insurance. Your life is highly dependent upon car ownership.
If the first example, your preference restricts your own freedom to choose other cars. In the second example, your dependency restricts your freedom to choose an alternative form of transportation and save money on those costs.
Now, let’s talk about the stable systems.
An example of a stable system is having flexible preferences, or no preferences at all. This allows you to take advantage of many different deals that might exist at any given time.
Being less particular saves you money.
Another example might involve having the option to work from home. If you have a car and it needs to be in the shop for a time, this is not a stressor as it is okay to not have constant access to your car: you don’t need it to get to work. Or, you may opt to not have a car at all.
Stable systems are not necessarily good, and fragile systems are not necessarily bad. There are always trade-offs. However, in a world of limited resources, generally stable systems ultimately win (although I suspect there is no such thing as a purely stable system).
I have a favorite breakfast sandwich, but only one store sells them: Target. So if I want to eat this breakfast sandwich, and I usually do, I have to drive to Target to get it. I’m therefore dependent on these sandwiches, and it comes at a price: either I need a vehicle or some adequate transportation to and from Target, or I need to be willing to pay $10 for a delivery. This is a fragile system. And there’s nothing inherently wrong it! I like those sandwiches. However, if I, say, wanted to decrease the fragility in my life, I might try to see if I would like a breakfast sandwich from a closer grocery store, such as King Soopers. But maybe there’s simply nothing up to snuff: I can’t find anything nearby that comes close to the deliciousness of those particular breakfast sandwiches. Another option might be to make my own breakfast sandwiches, and experiment with them until I find a tasty recipe that satisfies my palate. Or maybe I simply choose to eat something else for breakfast. But what I do know is that there isn’t much else I specifically need from Target, so if I can somehow eliminate my dependency on these sandwiches, I can save myself time, gas, vehicle wear and tear, and the additional (if not acute) stress of making grocery runs to Target, which is in a difficult area to drive, especially during rush hour.
You see, this is just an example of how you can move from fragile to stable systems in your own life. And most people don’t like it. We get used to the status quo, we develop habits and preferences. We listen to culture, or to our friends, or our coworkers, and we develop this mental model, this world of expectations of what life is supposed to be like. I NEED this, and this, and this. And it doesn’t take much for people earning over six figures to be complaining that they’re broke and living paycheck to paycheck. It’s not that they’re bad people, they’ve just built their lives on fragile systems.
Challenging these systems is important. It’s hard to know what you are capable of changing until you try. But people are often afraid to try. My grand experiment has involved plotting to get rid of almost everything I can, or at least all that isn’t contributing to my life. The results thus far?: I haven’t missed the things I’ve gotten rid of. Almost everything I have ever owned has been worthless crap. So I press the experiment further! Society never told me this. In fact, society has always told me that I need more crap! But because of my experiment, I don’t have all these endless things sucking my life away because I’ve been learning to get rid of them!
About a month ago, I was curious how many houses in this neighborhood were on the market (my interest was piqued concerning how the pandemic has affected this), and discovered, to my astonishment, that a real estate website has given this neighborhood a “walk-score” of “car-dependent”. It’s like…a 10 or 12 minute walk to the nearest gas station, maybe 15 minutes to the grocery store. Car-dependent? Seriously? We also have several restaurants nearby, a thrift store, a car parts store, and many other places. But apparently that’s not “walkable”. What a load of bullshit! But this is one of those dumb expectations culture foists upon us. Really, you could live your life here in this neighborhood without a car, given the right circumstances. [EDIT: It occurs to me that this rating may actually be more related to the fact that there is no strong public transportation in this area than to the difficulty of getting to nearby places, which makes a lot more sense. I am probably being too cynical in this paragraph 🙂 ]
(Although, in a strange twist, having a car also expands your options, though not for any reduction in cost. The point is, not being dependent on traveling long distances is more stable than needing to travel long distances. The difference is subtle but important)
You can apply this in other interesting ways, too. If you want everybody to approve of you and think you’re amazing, just follow what those people expect of a person: what success, and life, and love, and career look like. And other people’s opinions are not inherently wrong or inferior, either – sometimes you should listen to them! – but if we’re simply talking about approval, well, you have to win it by playing their game. I have found that those who command the greatest approval are often the greatest tools: they have bent and bowed all of their desires to fit the status quo, or whatever subgroup they’ve chosen to identify with. They are like empty shells of people, always chasing affirmation. It often comes at a price. Chasing affirmation is a fragile system.
Relying on a gym membership to “be healthy” is a fragile system. If you lose access to the gym, either through constraints of time or energy, or through pandemic, then your health would, in theory, rapidly deteriorate. But eating healthy foods in appropriate quantities is a stable system: in such a case, losing access to the gym does not cause your health to rapidly deteriorate. However, this certainly doesn’t mean there isn’t value in going to the gym!
People get pissed off at me when I suggest their systems are fragile. Fine! But if that challenges you to think about your assumptions, good. Some people think I’m “scrimping and saving” to build the wealth that I have. I mean, sure, a good income makes things a lot easier, but what I’ve saved from what’s been given to me has been done with strategy. And the more you transform your fragile systems to stable systems, the easier that becomes. And I’m comfortable challenging myself, too. In fact, in some areas (such as my grocery budget), I need to be challenging myself more! Not because life has to be some giant deprivation, but because sometimes it’s only a deprivation if you’ve bought the lies of our culture. Part of why I write this blog is to poke at those lies and escape the insanity so many people find themselves trapped in. Much of what I write in here is just me calling “bullshit” on society’s advice and expectations. Your mileage may vary.
This Life Engineering series is something I’m really interested in expanding.