For the past few years, I’ve had a strong desire to do prophetic giving. That probably sounds crazy to a lot of people, but it basically means praying to God for what to buy, then going out and praying to find the people who should receive those things. I feel like I’ve heard stories of this, or may have participated in similar events here and there, but I have yet to actually set out and do that head-on, with big money on the table. That was my plan for last year’s G-IRA (the pet name for my annual giving fund), but the vision dried up completely and nothing happened. After a few months of pissing money away on personal crap, I came to realize that I needed to be setting money aside every month if I wanted to avoid falling short again. I set aside most of December’s paycheck, and managed to come pretty close to reaching my original goal for the year. It may not have been money given, but it would at least be set aside for giving.
And now I think I know why the vision dried up last year: this lockdown. I’ve been contributing monthly to that account this year, and this has been building upon last year’s savings, so there is a significant amount set aside for giving.
But giving can be complicated. I’ll always remember learning about the “potlatch” several Native American tribes used to participate in. It was basically inter-tribal giving with very strong implications for prestige and honor. If you tried to out-give another tribe and succeeded, they basically tried to kill you and went to war. In the early 20th century, anthropologist Marcel Mauss took this and other stories of giving to formulate the idea that all giving was conditional, but I always disagreed with his conclusions. He was also the sort of Victorian dude who believed that wives merely traded sex for provision and had no desires of their own. And you thought the modern world denied women human desires! So I think he took the idea of purely conditional giving way too far, but his work gained widespread notoriety for raising an important truth: giving is complicated, and every culture has its own protocols for giving. In fact, one thing I love about American culture is that it is so very biased toward unconditional giving. American culture believes so strongly in this that it once produced the racial slur of “Indian giver” to compare someone pejoratively to Native Americans, whose giving patterns were very different and were not considered “unconditional” by European standards. Granted, I suppose a “thank you” is usually still appreciated, but true giving stops at that.
So what happens when everyone around you is raising money for one thing or another? That’s the challenge right now.
I’m not afraid to say ‘no’. If fact, people who can’t say ‘no’ are probably just addicted to feeling good about themselves. They want to be seen as good, too, but that’s not a sinful desire. It just is what it is. There’s a Latin phrase bis das, si cito das, which means “you give twice, if you give quickly”. Originally a letter reference from one friend imploring another to respond quickly, it has taken on the meaning of “it is better to give quickly”, but I take the more cynical approach: if you give too quickly, it’s like giving twice as much. And you may not have planned on that.
I believe in being generous, but I don’t do it flippantly.
Several years ago, a friend approached me looking for sponsors to raise money for volunteer work. They needed to build up monthly donations to perform the missions work they were participated in. I had given monthly to another friend before, and while I was glad to support that friend, I had come to realize that I really don’t enjoy giving monthly. It feels like a chore, and I slightly hate that. So I did have to stick to my gut and say no, but I also said, “Hey, once you get your funding, come talk to me and I might be able to give you some money for the transition,” since it would involve moving. Well, they got their funding but never talked to me about it, so I never gave anything for their transition.
Never be afraid to say no. Never be afraid to give the way you prefer to give.
Right now, everybody and their mom has some cause to give to. Some of these have been great causes, but I’m really hesitated to give, even though the G-IRA is decently stocked. For one, I suspect things will get worse before they get better. Right now, a lot of average Joes with bad financial habits are hurting, but they aren’t starving. The average Joe could use a little bit of hurt, given how much he spends on cell phones, new cars, toys, guns, take-out, and other shit. Average Joe needs to wake up to how unsustainable his lifestyle is. But of course, there are other people who are legitimately hurting. Which organization needs your money the most?
For one, I’ve increased my tithe because my church is putting a lot of effort into their food bank and keeping people with food. I wish I were some lottery-winner who could pay people’s houses off, but you gotta work with what you got. I’m still setting aside money each month for the giving because the time will come to use that. I’m still investing money, too, because I have a responsibility to my goals and calling, and that does not involve shooting myself in the foot just to dump money into every worthy fund raiser I see. Granted, I’m holding much more loosely to that, and will be going half-power on that very soon. I’m a little concerned for my parents, who could face furlough, though I’m more concerned about them staying healthy. The power of living a materially simple life is that I could possibly float them if needed. Never underestimate the power of living below your means.
Anyway, I’m holding out on giving for now. I don’t believe in rushing the process. I also don’t believe in being guilted into swift action. I did support a local small business to the tune of around $130. Does that count?
The time will come. Keep your eyes out for your family, friends, and neighbors. There is a time to give and a time to keep, and those times may be different for each person.