Weights

Ah, weights. A key staple of most guys’ possessions. There’s so much to be said about these.

In 9th grade, my gym class did a rotation through weights training, and I thought it was kind of fun, so I asked for a weight set for Christmas. I still have this set. I’ve used it off and on over the years, largely because it all packs down into a blow-molded case with wheels and a handle, but I haven’t used it very consistently, and this is probably the treatment received by most weight sets.

Most guys have weights, I suspect, because of the association of being muscular with being attractive. You know. I think most of us (who are straight) like the idea of women finding us interesting. But I also think it’s relatively uncommon, though not unheard of, for guys to enjoy lifting so much that it’s woven into the fabric of their interests and hobbies. Some guys even go on “kicks” at the gym for awhile, only to slip back into the natural state of not finding the lifting of little metal bars to be too interesting. I have no judgement.

Stereotypes and expectations of masculinity aside, I think strength is one aspect of health, and in a world in which we do surprisingly little lifting, it falls upon our dear friend the dumbbell to help us along.

But having weights around sucks. Aside from my weight set, I have a few dumbbells with rubberized ends (just like those in the stock photo above), which I find to be easier and more versatile to handle. But these collect dust like you wouldn’t believe, even during those rare streaks when they are seeing active duty. I’ve had these near my entertainment center, behind my desk, in my room, in the basement, EVERYWHERE. Wherever they go, they serve most of their time sitting. And sitting. And sitting….

This really leads me to wonder whether these are worth owning, honestly. Again, having decent strength is part of living a healthy life, and if 15 minutes of weight lifting every day makes your wife happier, is that such a bad deal? But for the most part, weights are useless, and they are usually there to taunt you with the pressure of what you “should” be doing. Whatever that may actually be is a topic for another day.

I don’t know. My weight set is pretty compact, and there’s nothing the individual dumbbells offer that can’t be achieved with the set. They may be nicer, but I don’t have as much against a compact set as I do 4 or 5 individual bells soaking up dust and claiming a 1′ x 4′ section of my wall. Risky likes his space.

Honestly, more than any particular lifts, I enjoy pull-ups and its variants. I was up to doing 4-5 of these in a row back in my apartment, but I atrophied a bit after living here for awhile and not wanting to damage drywall in my friend’s house. Then I had the epiphany that the i-beam downstairs might serve as a suitable alternative. (If you’re going to buy a house, seriously, do yourself a favor and make sure it has one of these i-beams) It hurt my fingers at first, but I gradually worked my way up to doing quite a few lifts from one side to the other by gripping the i-beam. The muscles on my inner arms right below the elbow started to bulge. It was a little weird. Then I bought a pull-up bar specifically designed to attach to the i-beam, and now I have fun going downstairs and using that every now and then. Though honestly, there’s a lot to be said for being able to pull yourself up from one side of an i-beam, as this more accurately replicates the action required to lift your body up over a ledge, probably one of the absolute most practical physical abilities you could have.

Which leads me to some final thoughts here. While lifting can short-circuit some of the hard work people used to do in their lives, you always have the option of incorporating exercise into your life in more practical ways, too. I almost always use a hand basket at the grocery store, and most of the time end up filling it more than I should. Don’t tell me hauling one of those around isn’t exercise of some sort. And on a few occasions right before the pandemic started, I loaded up my hiking backpack with a 20 pound bag of rice and took this with me to the gym to add some intensity to the stair master and better prepare me for the backpacking I hoped to do. I’ve even carried a front axle home from the auto parts store just to see what I was made of.

Granted, there still may be a place for simple lifting in building muscle, I just kind of despise it. Getting rid of some of these sounds like a great idea to me. If I can help it, I prefer not to bullshit myself about things that seem useful but which I really don’t enjoy using or having around. Lately I’ve been seeking to downsize my things again, and these individual weights have cropped up as one of those things I kind of hate having around. We’ll see.